La Vita e Bella

Sitting by the window, trying to find the right words for my essay

Oh why doesnt it come as easy as writing a blog… hehe…

I wish i could finish it soon so that i can leave it behind (just like my RP proposal, yahoooo… I love you, Dubravka!!)

BUT

words dont come easy…

oh that song keeps on running on my head, it’s like the singer (i forgot who) is teasing on me. Oh i hate that!

Anyway, since yesterday suddenly i hv some surprising contacts from my undergrad’s friends. Shinta was calling me from Manado, just for the sake of hearing my voice hehehe… I’m so flattered, Shinta! Then i got messages from Lulu, e-mail from Irma, Emily and Allen (this time we keep on replying each other since he was also on line at the same time). And this morning he called me. Ooh…. are you that lonely, Allen? I know you’re not the person who makes a call ‘just to say hi’, hehe… I wonder if this is what that mining forest do to you ^_^

Well, thank you guys for making me realize that im not that lonely… And i have to be grateful about it. Yeah i guess someone is right, im not lonely to the extent that i should worry about it ^_^

Okay, essay… im coming back to you!

But wait…. im sleepy now. Yeah, they do that ‘daylight saving time’ today, so it’s supposed to be around 12 by now… Oh, they lessen my hour for sleeping!

Saturday morning…

Waking up with the feeling like i have to do many things: doing household chores, shopping for groceries, going to an extra class with Diane Elson… oh goodness, why in Saturday… please don’t ruin my weekend hehehe…

Well i decided to give myself a little break, listening to Frank Sinatra singing "That’s Amore", and let my mind fly away to Italy again (oh i miss the joy of travelling!)

That’s Amore

(In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here’s what they say)

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore

When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore

Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll sing "Vita bella"

Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fagiole
That’s amore

When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You’re in love

When you walk down in a dream but you know you’re not
Dreaming signore

Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s amore

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore

When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore

Oh… what a memory!!!

Vita bella!

It was around June last year that i got her first e-mail for me. She’s telling me not to worry a thing about living in The Hague. It’s strange that even though i never met her before (well we used to go to Gereja Kristus Manado but i dont know her, only know her sister and brother),  but just reading her e-mails can calmed me down…. and don’t know why i feel like i can easily connect with her.

Now it’s been almost half a year that i’m here. Ci Melan proves her words, there’s nothing to worry about living in The Hague. In fact, i really enjoy it… And i have to thank her because she’s one of the person that makes my time here really enjoyable. She offered me a friendship even before i know her. She took me to church. With Avisha - her son and  her husband Kak Harry, she treat me a yummy ice cream, then pancakes, then chinese food in Fat Kee! That was actually the first time i eat in a restaurant here, hehe… Oh yeah, at that day i also really enjoy exploring Centrum with her, because i got so many shopping tips from her, oh it was so nice! Ci Melan has a very good taste in fashion, and the fact that she’s tall making everything looks good on her. She looks young too, i remember at the church for several times people thought that she’s my friend from the university!!! See… (oh i hope it’s not because i’m the one that looks old, hihi..). And i won’t forget, how she corrected that person that thought im her friend in the univ… she said, no… i’m not her friend from the university, i’m her sister!

Yeah, Ci Melan. U’ve been a sister for me. And i really thank you for that.

Few weeks ago i went to her nice house, have such a good time playing around with Avisha. Oh, he’s such a cheery nice-to-be-with kid! I’m amazed how he never giving up trying to communicate with me in Dutch, hihi… And when he’s playing with Dora game from the internet, i just lost for words. Goodness, this kid is really smart.

Well, i thank God for knowing this family, a family who have welcomed me with an open arms, even before i met them. Thanks to them, i can still use bahasa Manado, hehehe… and of course, eat my favorite rica roa… oh so irresistable!

Mom, I’ve been thinking about you today.

You are the person who teaches me all things I need to know in life. But yet you never play such a leading role, or making yourself a role model. You make me free to be me, in all the things I choose to do. And you do it with your love, patience… And you’ve sacrifice a lot for me. Thank you, Mom.

Yeah… you have such a strong personality, but yet full of love. You know what you aiming for; have great perseverance in trying to achieve something, highly motivated, a hard worker… Oh, I make it sounds like I’m writing an application letter, eh? Hihi…

Ah, I always admire how you are really good in Math. Oh I can never beat you in that, hehe… Remember when we used to do my home works together? You are really a great teacher – you show me how, but you let me do it, and make me believe that I can do it. One day when I was still in the primary school, completely forgot that I have an assignment n just realize it by the time I woke up in the morning. I was giving up, afraid. But you were there, telling me that I can do it. And I can! Yeah, time and time again, I see how you always believe in me, supporting me in anything I do.

You taught me how to swim. You taught me how to sew. I can never do that, or I keep on forgetting how to do that… but you’re ok with that. You never make it become like a ‘basic skill’ that a woman should know. You are a cool mom. Definitely, you are cool! You can chat in yahoo messenger with me, oh you make my friends envy me, haha…

Remember how we used go shopping together after church? Ah, we’re actually a good team in reminding each other’s shopping spree. Every time I’m in the shopping craziness, you’re not in the mood. Or when you’re in the mood of shopping, I’m not. Good combination, aren’t we? hehe…

You are also my great counselor. I can consult anything with you, from choosing jobs to choosing men, haha… I’m so glad that I can share everything… and I like the way you used to tease me… including that “I’m so young and you’re so old” thing, hahaha…. Oh you are just like a friend.

Mom, I have so many other things that I like about you – it’s just impossible to describe most of my 23 years being together with you in a short note like this. Besides, I have to prepare my presentation for tomorrow, hehe… I know that you’ll understand. You always understand.

I love you, Mom. You mean so much for me.

Today, people are celebrating International Women’s Day.

I celebrate you.

Today i went to Utrecht for the conference on ‘What About Sex?’

I went there in the morning, alone, and I realize how much I enjoy having a trip alone. It gives me a time to daydreaming, hehe….

Just looking outside the window, feel amazed again for having sunshine in my face but i see snows on the ground…

Passing the streets with those fast-moving cars, wonder why they are in such a rush like that… maybe late for work?

Going more into the countryside, seeing beautiful churches, thinking whether they still have attenders or not…

Seeing hundreds of bicycles in the station’s parking lot…

Farm houses with those cows that looks like in the package of susu Ultra…

Ah, I really enjoy the leaps in my thoughts as my eyes caught different objects in the sceneries. All that are only possible when I travel alone, and that’s why I like it because there’s only me and myself, talking to each other. Oh Chrysant, wonder why you’ve become such a loner like this. Well, I used to be a loner, but I guess I’m becoming more and more loner here. I don’t talk much to people and I have a limited contact with them. Sometimes, like today, I really enjoy it. But in some other time, I have to admit that I feel the loneliness. The loneliness for not having a friend that you could talk to, one that can understand… Of course you have friends, but -if I may borrow Kristian’s words-, they are all ‘artificial’. All you have is a person saying “hi… how are you?” and you’ll automatically answer back “good, thank you!” realizing that even though you’re not that good, that person might not have time to listen to you. Don’t expect much, for everyone is busy with their assignments, RP proposal, essays, presentations and so on… and that includes me myself. Haa… what happens to me?

this morning mbak Endah (the real blogger) reminds me that i have a blog, hehe…

yeah, i haven’t been posting any entry this couple of weeks (months?)

what should i say… with the craziness of Term II’s workload, the only thing that i can do is just trying to keep all the events in my memory… Besides, there are too much to tell, and they are all so surprising that sometimes i can’t even believe it’s happening in my life.

I just believe that i won’t forget them… they’re just too precious. And one day, when i want to refer to those moments again, i know this song by Silje Nergaard will somehow bring me back the atmosphere….

Two Sleepy People

Here we are, out of cigarettes,
Holding hands and yawning,
Look how late it gets.
Two sleepy people by dawn’s early light,
And too much in love to say goodnight.

Here we are, in a cozy chair;
Pickin’ on a wishbone from the frigidaire.
Two sleepy people with nothing to say,
And too much in love to break away.

Do you remember the nights we used to linger in the hall?
Your father didn’t like me at all.
Do you remember the reason why we married in the fall?
To rent this little nest and get a bit of rest.

Well, here we are just about the same,
Foggy little fella, drowsy little dame.
Two sleepy people by dawn’s early light,
And too much in love to say goodnight.

ah… i have to go to Utrecht for the conference tomorrow morning. It’s already 12 o’clock. I have to say goodnight this time.

a surprising question from Barbara,

a nice hello from Cates (hope i will be able to write that e-mail i’ve promised her, too much to say but no time to write it),

the train that left me just before my eyes - in that cold snowy day in Utrecht Centraal,

what else happens today eh?

ah just get some sleep, Chrysant.

Can’t wait for the morning…