The (lonely?) Loner
Today i went to Utrecht for the conference on ‘What About Sex?’
I went there in the morning, alone, and I realize how much I enjoy having a trip alone. It gives me a time to daydreaming, hehe….
Just looking outside the window, feel amazed again for having sunshine in my face but i see snows on the ground…
Passing the streets with those fast-moving cars, wonder why they are in such a rush like that… maybe late for work?
Going more into the countryside, seeing beautiful churches, thinking whether they still have attenders or not…
Seeing hundreds of bicycles in the station’s parking lot…
Farm houses with those cows that looks like in the package of susu Ultra…
Ah, I really enjoy the leaps in my thoughts as my eyes caught different objects in the sceneries. All that are only possible when I travel alone, and that’s why I like it because there’s only me and myself, talking to each other. Oh Chrysant, wonder why you’ve become such a loner like this. Well, I used to be a loner, but I guess I’m becoming more and more loner here. I don’t talk much to people and I have a limited contact with them. Sometimes, like today, I really enjoy it. But in some other time, I have to admit that I feel the loneliness. The loneliness for not having a friend that you could talk to, one that can understand… Of course you have friends, but -if I may borrow Kristian’s words-, they are all ‘artificial’. All you have is a person saying “hi… how are you?” and you’ll automatically answer back “good, thank you!” realizing that even though you’re not that good, that person might not have time to listen to you. Don’t expect much, for everyone is busy with their assignments, RP proposal, essays, presentations and so on… and that includes me myself. Haa… what happens to me?
